


Broken Wings with Which to Fly

by Raptorusrex



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Character Death, F/M, Fix-It, Force Bond (Star Wars), I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Protective Kylo Ren, Protective Rey (Star Wars), Rey Needs A Hug, honestly i'm just bitter and sad about tros and this is my kind of therapy, okay i need to stop tagging now anyway here is some trash, rian johnson hallowed be thy name
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:41:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21976009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raptorusrex/pseuds/Raptorusrex
Summary: Rey is mourning Ben when she starts hearing the voice.It's an ancient voice, the gnarled root of a tree, and it's growing inside her head. It pushes past her defences, weakening her, strengthening her, and she can do nothing to shut it up.Then it tells her how to get Ben back, and she never wants it to shut up again.(This is a self-indulgent mess. Sorry.)
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 56





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, like everyone, I was angry and upset by TROS. So here is a self-indulgent fix-it fic. It still adheres to canon.  
> I don't know whether I will make this a full blown fic but at the moment it won't get out of my head so here it is.

_Come. Come. Come to us._  


Rey frowned. It was that voice again, the tree-root voice, a gnarled voice that seemed to break through every one of her defences and spread like poison in her brain.  


_Come to us, Rey._  


Whenever she heard it, she had the unexplainable urge to follow it. That voice. It shook her to the core, knew every part of her. It made her Force signature waver, made her heart swell in confusion and fear.  


_Come to us._  


_No_ , she thought, shaking herself. _Come on. Concentrate._  


But no matter what she did, she couldn’t clear her mind. The tree-root voice pushed past her meditative state, breaking her out of it.  


“Ugh!” she groaned. “Go away!”  


She lowered herself to the ground, her hands clenched into fists.  


_Come to us._  


Fine. If the voice wouldn’t go away, she’d go away from it.  


She took a deep breath and began to run. She ran to the first mark, snatched it off the tree, and continued past the rest of them.  


It was a good job she’d chosen to meditate away from others. She didn’t want Finn to see her failing like this. She didn’t want to see his concerned face, didn’t want to answer his invasive questions. He cared about her, and she cared about him, but he just wouldn’t understand. What could she say?  


_I’m upset because I watched the love of my life die in my arms.  
_

_Oh, right, sorry, who’s that again?  
_

_Oh, you know, just Kylo Ren, the bane of your existence._  


That conversation wouldn’t go down well.  


She reached the second mark, then the third. The red cloth reminded her too much of Ben, of Crait. This didn’t hinder her; it just made her run faster, as if she could outrun time and fate, as if somehow, she could change what had happened.  


She could hardly bear it. She couldn’t stand it.  


She had tried to outrun it already. She’d fled to Tattooine under the pretence of finishing up some ‘Jedi business’. Finn had watched her go with teary eyes, not understanding why she had shut him out all of a sudden.  


“Something’s wrong with her,” she overheard him saying once. She’d just been walking past a cupboard of all places when she heard Finn, Poe and Rose, and although she hated to sneak around, she couldn’t help listening in.  


“She’s not herself,” Finn had said. “Something must have happened.”  


“Well, duh,” Poe had answered. “How would you feel if you found out you’ve got all that evil granddaddy blood in you?”  


“Poe,” Rose sighed.  


“I’m just saying what happened.”  


“It’s more than that,” Finn protested. “I just know it is.”  


“Maybe she just needs her space,” Rose had said. “A lot has happened. And she was close to the General--let’s not forget that. Just leave her. If she wants to tell us what happened, she can, but until then…” Rey had imagined her shrugging. “Until then, we leave her alone.”  


Unbeknownst to them, that was exactly the issue. She was alone.  


Not completely. She still came back to Resistance bases sometimes, still spoke to Finn and Poe and found a surprisingly good friend in Rose. They were her friends, and she had made something of a home with them.  


But she was still alone. They would never understand her, no matter how hard they tried. The only person who had ever understood her was dead, and his life coursed through Rey’s veins, a constant reminder that she wasn’t supposed to be here without him.  


Rey ran faster.  


_You’re not alone_ , he’d told her. A voice so soft, so gentle, full of everything she wanted, everything she needed.  


But she was, wasn’t she? She was.  


She was, she was, she was.  


She ran faster and faster, fleeing every word, every gaze, every touch. Her eyes stung. Her throat burned. Her lungs were on fire.  
It was bound to happen, really. Her run was abruptly cut off as she tripped over a rock, falling hard on her face. She could already feel bruises forming.  


She took a deep breath, but when she breathed out, it came out as a cracked sob. Tears were already spilling down her cheeks, cheeks that would forever bear the memories of sand. Alone, alone. She was all alone.  


She just wanted him here. She wanted to feel him again. Sometimes, she could feel a presence so strongly, a pull on their dyad bond that made her want to scream and cry and laugh all at the same time. But it wasn’t him. It couldn’t be. And then she was left with the same cold emptiness of before.  


She twisted on the ground, turning until she was lying on her back and staring up above her. The tears were flowing freely now. She wished they could wash away all that loneliness. Wished they could bring back Ben.  


But he was gone. Whoever she was seeking in him was never coming back. And there was no one, no one, who ever would.  


As she lay there, sobbing to herself as she had done her whole life, she thought she heard a voice.  


_Rey._  


She didn’t even bother sitting up, the tree-root voice the same old, same old.  


“Just leave me alone!” she tried to make it sound forceful, but it came out as a whine. She was an animal, crawling in search of her mate only to find him dead in the sand.  


_Rey_ , the voice said again.  


She felt an old, familiar burning throughout her body. A rage that made her want to tear off her skin and roar at the heavens.  


She sat up, and when she spoke this time, it was full of so much venom, it was as if she were a snake.  


“What?!” she yelled. “What do you want?”  


The voice didn’t answer with words.  


Instead, an image came to her head. She could see it as clearly as it would have been if she was staring at it in person.  


It was a mirror. The mirror she’d found in the cave on Ahch-To. And staring out of it was Ben Solo.  


The rage that had been simmering inside her disappeared. It was as though someone had poured a bucket of water over her, extinguishing the fire that had been building ever since his death.  


“Ben?” she whispered.  


And though it was just in her mind, Ben smiled at her. It was the happiest, saddest, most beautiful smile she had ever seen in her life.  


And then it vanished. The image was gone from her head, and no matter how hard she tried to conjure it again, she just couldn’t.  


“Where is he?” she demanded out loud. “What have you done?”  


The tree-root voice answered, twisting like branches in her head.  


_Like to see him again, wouldn’t you?_  


She swallowed. On one hand, she didn't know who this voice actually belonged to. It could be anyone trying to manipulate her, anyone trying to use her. But Palpatine was dead. Who else had this sort of power?  


And she needed him. She hated to admit it, but it was true. Ben was more herself than she was, and she needed to feel him through the bond, needed to know she was not alone in the galaxy. The galaxy was a huge, lonely place already. But without him, it was unbearable.  


“Yes.” Yes, she would like to see him again. She had to. "But how?"  


It came out as a whisper, but that was enough for the voice in her head.  


_Listen carefully._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know I said I was going to stick to canon but I may be sliding a little bit into the EU. Maybe. I haven't decided yet. I have like three potential outlines because I'm stupid and am writing this instead of doing my actual work...but hey ho.

The base was empty when Rey returned. 

She supposed she shouldn’t be surprised. Everyone was busy going to find their friends and family members. They were still recovering from their losses, still trying to figure everything out and make a plan. The galaxy was hopeful, but there was instability everywhere. It would be a while before the Resistance discovered its new place in the galaxy. 

Its first act as the victor was to form a new base with more resources and meeting rooms. They needed time to figure it all out, Poe said, and for that, they would need a proper foundation, a proper base. 

Rey was rarely here. She was always running these days, trying to escape the past by isolating herself even further. It was better to be around no one than to be around people who thought they knew her. 

Even so, Finn kept a room free for her. 

“For training, meditating, whatever you need,” he had shrugged when she asked about it. “I just thought it might be nice for you to have some space.” 

She knew what he was really trying to do. She knew they were all worried about her, concerned about her isolation and strange, constant absences. Finn kept a room for her; Rose followed her around like a shadow; Poe tried to pull her into group hugs and ‘hangouts’. It was clear what they all thought. She felt left out, she felt out of place, she wanted her own space. But it wasn’t about that. Would they ever really understand? 

_No_ , the tree-root voice hissed in her head. It had been quiet for a while, and the sound of it made her flinch. _They never will._

Even Luke hadn’t understood her. Even Leia. 

She couldn’t help dwelling on it, even as she made her way to her room and stopped to survey it. When the Resistance had made the Falcon their base, Leia had given Rey some of the few belongings of Ben’s she still owned. Leia hadn’t spoken much about Ben to Rey. In fact, whenever anyone ever mentioned the name Kylo Ren, Leia flinched, clutching her belly as though it caused her physical pain. But somehow - perhaps the Force, perhaps simply a mother’s intuition - Leia had sensed something. 

When the Falcon had landed at their new base, Leia had approached Rey with a pile of papers and books. 

“What are these?” Rey could remember asking. 

She remembered Leia’s face - a distant, unreadable expression, a strange kind of softness in the eyes. “They used to be Ben’s. Before.” 

They had never spoken about who Kylo Ren really was. Resistance members often gossiped about it, but there hadn’t been a conversation between Leia and Rey. It was unspoken between them, a fact they both knew. Kylo Ren was Ben Solo, or perhaps the man who had tried to kill him. 

Rey leaned against the wall of her room, closing her eyes for a moment. She wished she could have told Leia more about Ben. About what he’d done. About how he’d fought for her, about how selfless he had been before his death. She wished Leia could know her son had lived, however briefly. 

But she couldn’t. Because she was dead. And so was he. 

Rey shook herself out of memories, crossing the room to reach the chest she kept all of her belongings in. Her old clothes, which held new significance to her now that she knew the truth about her family. Her lightsaber. Han Solo’s dice. And all of Ben’s books and papers. 

She wished, not for the first time, that Luke had given her the Sacred Jedi Texts. It would have been so much easier to find ways to save Ben if she knew the ancient secrets of the Jedi. 

_But you’re not a Jedi_ , the tree-root voice sighed. _You never really were._

It was right. She wasn’t a Jedi. And Ben had never been a Sith. They were strange creatures, she and Ben. Ghosts of ages past, living on as instruments of the Force and its mysteries. Neither Jedi nor Sith. Just Rey and Ben. Bound and connected. Together. 

But not anymore. 

_You can be together again_ , the voice said. _You know what you must do._

“I get it,” she sighed. “Go away.” 

For once, it listened, and was silenced. 

She picked up a few of Ben’s texts, sitting on the floor with her back to the wall. She opened the first book in her lap, fingers tracing over the words. She flicked through, eyes scanning each page. 

It would take her so long to get through these. She’d only recently started learning to read properly - there weren’t exactly many books on Jakku - and these kinds of texts were difficult. Usually, she used the images accompanying the text to guide her, but with these texts, there was no way of doing that. Ben was a heavy reader, and none of his books contained images (unless they had been drawn by him, like the little cartoon of his parents at the back of his meditation book). 

Before the Supremacy, during one of their softer Force connections, she’d ended up telling him this. 

“I know,” he’d answered, very simply. “I’ve been in your head.” 

“Luke wants me to read the texts.” 

“I know that, too.” 

She remembered glaring at him, hating his pretty eyes and the way he seemed to look at her like he could really _see_ her. 

“Stay out of my head!” she’d snapped. 

“Stay out of _mine_ ,” he’d returned. “It’s you, not me. You keep seeing my dreams.” 

“You keep stealing mine!” 

“As if I _would_! I have better things to do,” he’d said, rolling his eyes. He looked like his father, leaning back in whatever chair he was sitting on. 

“And so do I!” She’d stood up, turning away from him. “Go away!” 

When she’d turned back around, he was gone. She remembered feeling alone, then, sleeping in the cold on Ahch-To. Alone, but nowhere near as alone as she felt now that their bond had been severed. Force dyad. One soul split into two. How could she live without her soul? 

Rey didn’t realise she was crying until she felt something wet drip onto her hand. She blinked, wiping the tears off her cheeks. She’d grown so much weaker since Exegol. So much more pathetic. 

She sniffed and continued flicking through the book, searching for the words that would take her to Ben. She had to focus if she wanted to see him again. She had to. 

She let out a huff of frustration. There was nothing. This wasn’t the right book. 

_Too good_ , the voice told her unhelpfully. _Too much about the Jedi. Another one._

So obediently, and questioning once more why she was trusting this random voice, Rey reached for the next one. This one looked more promising: a small, leather-bound book, black and well-read if the torn and dog-eared pages were anything to go by. 

She flicked through it, eyes scanning more carefully now. Page by page, line by page, she took her time with it, painstakingly searching for what she wanted. 

_There! That’s it!_ The voice gasped in her head. 

Rey stopped on a page. 

“The ‘Vergence Scatter’?” she said out loud. 

_Yes, that’s it_ , the voice said. _That’s where you can find him. For better or worse. The world between worlds._

She frowned. That didn’t sound like anything solid. 

_It’s where you’ll find him_ , the voice insisted. _It’s how you can get back to him. It’s the world between worlds, between all space and time._

Rey ran her fingers over the words, gently tracing. The Vergence Scatter. The world between worlds. All of these words, which would have meant nothing to her on Jakku, now meant belonging. It sounded too good to be true. She had spent so many years waiting for her family, subconsciously searching for some semblance of safety and love. Now, she discovered that these things were all a _place_. 

“How do I get there?” she asked. 

_That is something no books will tell you_ , the voice said. 

She huffed. “Why not?” 

_Because no one knows. If they did, don’t you think everyone would be going there? Wouldn’t the galaxy be unbalanced?_

The voice had a point, she supposed. But it raised another question. 

“Won’t bringing Ben back _also_ make it unbalanced?” 

_Wise girl_ , the voice said, and it sounded almost like it was chuckling. There was something so strangely familiar about that voice. It wasn’t any voice she’d heard before, but it was somehow known to her. 

_It won’t bring unbalance_ , the voice reassured her, _because of your bond. Perhaps it would be wise to meditate on yourself and the Solo boy. Perhaps it would be wise to ponder the nature of your connection._

“I’ve already meditated on it,” Rey said, slumping slightly. She had thought on it until she was sick of it, but there was nothing. She still had no idea what it meant, other than the fact that it felt like she’d lost a huge chunk of herself along with Ben. “I still don’t understand.” 

_Perhaps you’re looking in the wrong places._

Like before, an image suddenly came to her head, clear as the room she was sitting in. She could see a strange cave, but she didn’t recognise where it was. The cave exuded an eerie energy, energy she couldn’t quite read. She wasn’t sure whether it was dangerous. 

“Where is that?” she asked. 

The voice didn’t answer. Instead, a new image came to her head: a box of some sort. Somehow, she knew it was inside the cave. It was metal, with no clips to open it. Engraved into the metal was some kind of drawing, but Rey couldn’t see it very clearly. 

_Sometimes, what is forbidden is what is needed_ , the voice told her. 

There was a sudden knock on the door. Rey flinched so violently, she snapped the book shut on her hand. 

It was Rose, standing in the doorway and staring at her. 

“Um, hi,” said Rose. “Sorry. I didn’t realise you were…” she blinked. “Were you talking to someone just now?” 

“No!” Rey said quickly. Maybe too quickly. 

She wasn’t sure why she felt so guilty. She didn’t want to hide the voice from her friends. She didn’t want to hide anything from them. But they knew so little of the real her, of everything that had happened. They didn’t even know about her bond with Ben. They didn’t even know about Ben’s redemption. They didn’t know _anything_. How could she possibly expect them to understand? 

Rose was staring at her as though she was trying to figure her out. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” Rey said. She turned away, unable to meet Rose’s eyes. “So, um. Did you -” 

But Rose was already talking. 

“Those were in the General’s chambers, weren’t they?” Rose asked, frowning. “I think Finn mentioned them.” 

It took Rey a moment to realise she was referring to the books and papers surrounding her. 

“Oh. They’re Jedi texts,” Rey lied. Well, technically lied. Some of them really were Jedi texts, written purely to help students like Ben. Some of them contained much darker contents. Contents Rey needed. 

“Oh,” said Rose. She didn’t seem to believe Rey, not completely, but she let it go regardless. She smiled. “Can I come in and talk to you?” 

_No_ , the tree-root voice said. _Say no. You’re busy. You have to find him!_

“I’m…actually busy,” Rey said. The look on Rose’s face made Rey wince. She didn’t want to cause anyone harm, but she had to be with Ben. She had only one chance at this. She couldn’t waste time with Rose right now. “Meditating, you know?” 

Rose blinked. She said, “Oh, that’s fine” but it was clear she was upset. 

“I’m sorry,” Rey said. 

“It’s okay, I understand,” Rose said, smiling again. As she turned to leave, she paused. “I really do, you know? I get the need to…you know. Take time for yourself.” 

Right. Rose thought Rey was mourning. She _was_ mourning, but not Leia. 

“Yeah,” said Rey. She forced a smile onto her face. “I’ll be fine.” 

Rose nodded again. Then: “You don’t have to right now, but if you ever want to talk about what happened…you know, on Exegol? I’ll listen.” 

Rey’s smile dropped. “On Exegol?” she repeated. 

“With, you know…” Rose dropped her voice to a whisper, as if it was still a dirty little secret. “With your grandfather.” 

Rey turned away. “I don’t want to talk about him.” 

Murdering, evil bastard that he was. It was his fault. All of this was his fault. 

“I understand,” said Rose. 

Rey almost wanted to scream. She wished people would stop saying that, as if it was true, as if they did understand. 

“Well, I’ll see you later,” Rose finally said, and finally, finally, she was leaving Rey to her books and the voice in her head. “Oh, and by the way, Finn was looking for you. Said he wanted to ask you something.” 

Rey nodded. Despite everything, despite her need to go to this world between worlds and find Ben, she was still curious as to what, exactly, Finn had been trying to tell her lately. 

“Shall I say you’re here?” Rose asked. 

“Okay,” Rey said. 

Rose gave her one last smile and left. 

_Finally_ , the voice in Rey’s head said. 

“Don’t,” Rey said shortly. “She’s my friend.” 

_And friends are important, of course_ , the voice said. _But you don’t know what happens when a dyad is separated._

Rey slumped even further onto the floor, a position sure to ruin her posture forever. If the cold, empty feeling deep within her was anything to go by, she didn’t _want_ to know. 

And hopefully, she’d never have to find out. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really unhappy with this chapter, but I just can't seem to make it work, so hopefully it'll do. I hope it's readable at the very least.
> 
> Thanks for reading so far! I wish you all an amazing New Year (and new decade!) <3

Rey was getting ready to leave when Finn appeared in the doorway. She had packed a bag full of everything she owned, and now stood at the foot of her bed, holding Han’s dice in her hand. She ran her thumb over the gold, raising it to her face and closing her eyes. If she reached out further enough with the Force, she could almost feel Ben’s presence.  


“You’re leaving? Again?”  


Rey sighed, lowering her hand and shoving the dice in the bag. “Yes, Finn, I’m leaving.”  


“You just came back from Tatooine. What were you even doing there?”  


“Jedi business,” she said distractedly. “Nothing important.”  


She had hoped that if she went somewhere significant to the Skywalkers, somehow, _somehow_ , she’d attract Ben’s Force Ghost. But she hadn’t seen him since his death. She’d seen Luke and Leia, and sometimes, if she woke up in the middle of the night, she would see a young man with a facial scar, who would vanish as soon as she tried to speak to him. It was Ben she wanted to see, but for some reason, he just wouldn’t come.  


“Rey,” Finn said.  


Rey turned around, fixing him with a stare. “ _What_ , Finn? What do you want?”  


She knew she was being harsh, but she couldn’t help it. A part of her was furious that Finn of all people couldn’t see what was wrong. He just kept staring at her sadly and talking about how worried he was behind her back. If she stayed here any longer, she would end up screaming at him.  


That wasn’t fair. It wasn’t Finn’s fault that Rey was so closed off. It wasn’t his fault that she wouldn’t, couldn’t, tell him what was wrong. But she didn’t want to have that conversation. She would have to talk about Ben, and she’d have to talk about his death. Talking about it made it real. Talking about it meant she could no longer convince herself it was all in her head.  


_You need to think about him_ , the tree-root voice said. _You need to meditate on the bond_.  


She didn’t question how, exactly, the voice knew what she was thinking. She felt so tired, she was just about ready to collapse.  


“I just want you to talk to me,” Finn said. He sounded so hurt.  


_I’m a monster_ , Rey thought, not for the first time.  


“I’m talking to you now,” she said, playing dumb.  


“Rey, please,” said Finn. “Just…what’s going on with you? You’ve barely said two words to me the whole time you’ve been back. What really happened on Tatooine?”  


“Nothing,” she said. That was exactly the problem.  


He shook his head. She could see it in his eyes: he didn't believe her. She supposed she couldn't really blame him. Her behaviour lately had been weird.  


"You didn't go all the way to Tatooine for nothing," he said flatly. "What really happened? What were you doing there?"  


"Is this an interrogation now?" she bit.  


How could she tell him the truth? _Well, I went there to bury some lightsabers and hope my dead other half would just materialise and reclaim them. You know, a normal day in the life._  


_He won't understand_ , the voice said in her head, as if she didn't know this already.  


"You used to tell me everything," Finn said.  


"You used to be less whiny," Rey said before she could stop herself. The look on his face made her wince. "Wait, Finn, I didn't...I didn't mean that. I'm sorry."  


What was wrong with her? She'd spent her whole life alone and now here she was, turning her only friends against her. She was just so full of rage all the time. She hated the galaxy, she hated the Force, she hated her grandfather. She even hated Ben. What kind of cruel, unjust joke was the galaxy trying to play on her? Why did it have to take every bit of happiness she had? It was like a parasite, taking, taking, taking. It exhausted her.  


"I know things have been hard," Finn said quietly. "But that's no reason to shut me out. I can help you."  


She sighed. "You can't. I can't. Tell you, I mean. It's too much."  


He didn't say anything for a while. He just stared at her, trying to search her face for some sign of the truth. 

Then: “What happened on Exegol?”  


She was beginning to feel a headache coming on. Not for the first time, she felt an ache deep within her, an ache for Ben. She just wanted to talk to him. She wanted to feel the Force connect them, wanted to turn around and see him, wanted him to sit and listen to her, really _listen_. She’d been able to tell Ben anything, despite all of their problems. When their connections had been softer, he had been such a comfort to her. With him, she finally felt understood.  


She wanted to sit down and cry and have someone comfort her. She wanted him to ask what was wrong. She wanted to hear the words _You’re not alone_ again.  


Instead, she really was alone.  


Finn was still staring at her, and he was so earnest, and she was so tired.  


“I lost someone,” she found herself saying. Her voice was so quiet, even to her own ears. She felt empty inside. But she had to say something, even if she couldn't tell him everything. "I faced Palpatine and someone came to help me. Someone important to me. And...and now they're gone."  


She took a deep breath, her voice shaking as she continued. "Palpatine killed them."  


Finn’s face softened immediately. “Oh. Oh Rey, I’m so sorry.”  


He crossed the room before she could protest, pulling her into a tight hug. She rested her head on his shoulder, trying so hard not to cry, her throat was beginning to burn. He didn’t even know who she had lost. Perhaps he thought she meant Leia or Palpatine. Perhaps he figured she was talking about her parents. Perhaps he guessed Ben, but didn’t want to say it because to him, that wouldn't make much sense. Either way, it didn’t matter. She was hurting, and he was doing what he could to help her.  


But it wasn’t enough. It couldn’t ever be enough.  


She pulled away from him, looking down at the floor. "That's why I have to go. I need some time to myself. I need to figure everything out."  


“I get it. Where are you gonna go?” Finn asked.  


“Ahch-To,” she said honestly. “I just need some time to be alone.”  


He understood as much as he possibly could. “Are you coming back?”  


She stared at her bag. Her eyes were on the dice, on her lightsaber. Her mind was faraway, watching her child self scream and cry.  


_No! Come back!_  


_Quiet, girl!_  


“Rey?” Finn prompted.  


She blinked, her eyes finding him again.  


“Are you coming back?” he asked again.  


“Yeah,” she said very slowly. “I am.”  


~  


As soon as she stepped out of the ship onto Ahch-To, Rey felt more at peace with herself. She could see why Luke had spent so long here. It wasn’t like coming home - nowhere was to Rey, not really - but something about it made her spirit a little calmer.  


_It’s unbalanced_ , the voice chirped up. _I sense the Dark Side here._  


“I feel it too,” Rey said, and immediately winced. _Don’t be afraid,_ Ben’s voice rang out in her head. _I feel it too._  


But no. He hadn’t been Ben then. That wasn’t her Ben. He was Kylo Ren, the monster, the murderer. They weren’t the same.  


She wished things were really that simple.  


Rey climbed the steps, just as she’d done before, until she reached the cliffside where she’d first met Luke Skywalker. His Force Ghost was not here this time, but it would feel strange if it had been. She didn’t need him to be here. She needed _Ben_ to be here. But she had no idea how to make that happen.  


_You can’t summon a ghost that doesn’t exist_ , said the voice.  


“He does exist,” Rey scoffed.  


_Does he? You have to be dead to be one with the Force._  


Rey felt her stomach churn. She thought it was perfectly reasonable to feel dubious. She still had no idea who this voice belonged to, and he’d gone from being coy about Ben to telling her he wasn’t dead. She couldn’t help it; she was beginning to doubt it. But a part of her, a desperate, lonely part of her, needed it all to be true. She couldn’t lose Ben. It wasn’t like the other losses she’d suffered - her parents, Han, Luke, Leia. It felt different. It was more frightening. She had always been alone, but she had never been as alone as she was now. There was a voice in her head and friends back at the Resistance, but she was more alone than she had ever been.  


Losing Ben had been like losing everything all over again. She had left Jakku, found some friends, found a cause for life. She had begun to understand the dormant Force sensitivity inside her. She had started to know herself. And she had started to know Ben.  


_We’re a dyad in the Force_ , he had told her. _Two who are one._  


It felt like that. Two who were one. She was an individual, but it was as though her spirit had been cut in half, and one of those halves was lost to her. Missing, whether in death or in this strange world between worlds.  


She had to believe she could still find him. She had to believe she could find peace again, a balance in herself. The galaxy was balanced now, but inside Rey were the remains of the war she had lost. The war against solitude, the war against Ben, the war against her grandfather. She had lost every war she’d ever truly fought, and now she crawled through the remnants of her being, trying to pick up the pieces and failing every time.  


If he really was still alive, did he feel the same? Did he feel it too?  


_He feels it_ , the voice told her. _Trust me, he does._  


“How do you know?” she asked out loud.  


_A dyad is a rare breed_ , the voice answered. _But not entirely unique._  


What did that even mean? Did she want to know?  


No. Not right now. She had to concentrate. If she wanted to figure this out, if she wanted to help Ben somehow, she had to concentrate. She had to use the peace of Ahch-To to meditate.  


So there she sat. She crossed her legs and closed her eyes, placing her hands on the ground and trying to feel her surroundings. Just like Luke had taught her. Just like she’d done a thousand times before.  


She could feel the grass under her fingers, smell the earthiness of the soil. The wind gently pushed against her, carressing her face like a lover’s hand. In the distance, she could hear porgs wailing, and the sounds of the villagers moving around. She could feel life.  


Sinking further into meditation, she felt the Force. It surrounded her, moved within her. She allowed peace to lull her, cradling her as she took comfort in the impassivity of the Force.  


For the first time since Exegol, she focused on the dyad. It felt strange, poking at a gaping wound like this, but she focused her energy on it. She imagined what it had been like before, tried to recreate the feeling of connection in this fragile disconnection. She focused on the remnants of Ben, his life force breathing through her.  


There it was.  


She felt everything turn upside down, and allowed herself to be taken. It felt rather like when she had first touched Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber, when she’d been flung into a world of fragmented memories and visions. This time, however, she had more control over it. She was its master.  


  


_She was standing in the woods again. This time, however, it was cold, and the ground was covered in snow. She heard voices, unfamiliar and alien.  
_

_“I can no longer find peace in the Force.”  
_

_“Use our bond. Take your strength from me.”  
_

_Rey turned, frowning. The voices were so loud, so clear, it was as though they were coming from right beside her. She tried to reach out with the Force, but she could only feel herself and a strange, unstable energy.  
_

_“You need a teacher! I can show you the ways of the Force!” That voice was far more familiar.  
_

_She turned again, blinking rapidly, trying not to let herself be overcome by the confusion. “Ben?”  
_

_More voices.  
_

_“Rebellions are built on hope.”  
_

_“Rey…the fate of the balance rests on you now…”  
_

_And suddenly, a scream: “Help me!” A girl’s voice, a young girl.  
_

_“Where are you?” Rey called, her heart thudding in her chest. But the girl didn’t answer. Instead, she heard an eerie assortment of voices, all talking at once.  
_

_“Peace is a lie…passion…I gain power…my chains are broken…”  
_

_“There is no death; there is the Force.”  
_

_“Please.”  
_

_There. Ben again. This time, she poured all her concentration onto him, focusing on his voice as he continued: “I saw something too.” She ran towards the voice, forgetting the cold, forgetting everything but him as she ran through the woods.  
_

_But the woods around her were changing. She felt like someone was tipping the world over, and she gasped, blinked. When she turned around again, it was to see sand. Sand everywhere. It was still night time, but in the distance, a large figure walked towards her.  
_

_She recognised him immediately.  
_

_“Ben!” she called.  
_

_There was something red in front of her. She blinked, looked down, and found a red ribbon tied around her wrist. It lay like a dormant snake on the sand, and when she picked it up, she realised it was connected to Ben. This was the physical embodiment of their dyad bond.  
_

_“Ben?” she called again.  
_

_He stared right through her, seeing nothing. He was much closer now, so much closer that she saw a distinct lack of recognition in his eyes. He didn’t see her. In fact, he walked right through her.  
_

_When she turned to follow him, the location had changed again._

_“Where is Padme? Is she all right?” she heard a voice say.  
_

_She was staring at someone else now, a man with a scar down his face. He looked strangely familiar. There was something about his face, his eyes, that reminded her of Luke. The way he held himself with so much authority: that was all Leia.  
_

_“Rey Palpatine,” the man said.  
_

_She stared. “You can see me?”  
_

_“My lightsaber called to you,” he told her, his voice completely emotionless. “A part of my grandson lives in you.”  
_

_“Anakin Skywalker?” she guessed.  
_

_He didn’t nod, but she could tell he was. “You are trying to find him again.”  
_

_“Yes,” she said at once.  
_

_“Lost love can lead to the Dark Side,” he warned her. “You are playing a very dangerous game.”  
_

_“I won’t turn to the Dark Side,” she said. “I just need to find Ben.”  
_

_Anakin inclined his head. “I’m not the one who can help you. You’ve conjured the wrong ghost.”  
_

_She frowned. What did that mean?  
_

_“You need to go further back,” he told her. “Before the New Republic. You need to find out more about these bonds.”  
_

_“I’m trying,” she told him.  
_

_Anakin just shook his head. “It will kill you,” he told her.  
_

_There was a flash of something like lightning, and his face changed. One half of his face was the mask of Darth Vader, and the other was the malformed face of Anakin.  
_

_“It will kill you,” he said again.  
_

_She heard Ben’s voice suddenly: “Two who are one.”  
_

_She turned, and as expected, the setting changed once more. Now she was staring down at Kylo Ren, sitting beside the distorted mask of Darth Vader. Kylo had his mask on again, and his shoulders were hunched. His energy was so tense, Rey could feel it in her own body, a shooting, anxious pain running through her.  
_

_“There is something…something inside me now,” Kylo Ren said, his voice garbled through the modulator of his maslk. “Something has changed. I can feel it. This girl…she is nothing. Just a scavenger from Jakku. But she’s powerful. And that power is mine, too. Something is different.”  
_

_“It’s a dyad,” Rey told him, as if he could somehow hear her. “We’re connected in the Force.”  
_

_And to her amazement, Kylo actually responded. He looked up at her, the empty blackness of his mask staring her down. She felt shivers run down her spine. He was so alien to her like this. A creature in a mask.  
_

_“A dyad,” Kylo repeated. He sounded curious, somehow, despite the mask. “Yes. I see it.”  
_

_“This conversation isn’t really happening,” Rey said.  
_

_Like his grandfather, Kylo inclined his head. “A force-bond is difficult. It poses as many disadvantages as advantages. It brings vulnerability, and it brings strength.”  
_

_His voice was somewhat different.  
_

_“Are you…are you really Ben?” she asked.  
_

_“Are you?” he answered. “How much of you are you, now? How much of Ben are you? Where does he end and you begin? Where have you lost him? What of him have you lost?”  
_

_Her head was spinning. It was getting harder to concentrate, and the world around her began to glitch.  
_

_“I don’t understand,” she said.  
_

_“How do you expect to understand a dyad if half of it is missing from you?” asked this strange, fake-Kylo. “How do you expect to find the other half if this one is so confused?”  
_

_“I-I don’t know.”  
_

_“You both need to search for each other,” said Kylo. “Speaking to anyone here is a mistake. You must speak to him.”  
_

_“Where is here?” she asked. “I thought it was a vision.”  
_

_“Perhaps,” he said.  
_

_“What does that even mean?”  
_

_“You tell me.”  
_

_His words were getting hazier now. She looked around her. The world was beginning to fall away, foundations stripped beneath her.  
_

_“I don’t understand,” she said. “How do I get to him?”  
_

_“How does a Force user do anything?” asked Kylo.  
_

_She heard another voice, a voice she’d heard before.  
_

_“Use the Force.”  
_

_“But how?!” she cried out. “I don’t understand!”  
_

_“You know,” Kylo told her. “You know.”_  


  


Her eyes flashed open, and she fell forwards. She felt the ground beneath her, felt the natural world beginning to return to her as the vision faded away. She was on Ahch-To still. She could feel the grass and mud, the wind. She could hear porgs and villagers. She was here, she was alive, and somehow, trying to meditate on the bond just made her even more confused than she had been before.  


She let out a shout of frustration, standing up and kicking at the mud. Rage flooded thorugh her, perhaps her own, perhaps Ben’s lifeforce in her blood. It didn’t matter. She was furious. Why couldn’t things be simple? Why couldn’t things be fair? Why couldn’t anyone give her a straight answer?!  


She raged and raged and raged some more. She kicked at the ground, balled her hands into fists, screamed at the air. She could hear the villagers muttering disapprovingly, but she didn’t care. She had given the galaxy everything. She had temporarily died to save it. And what had it done in return? It had laughed in her face, and it was still laughing now.  


Exhausted, she slumped down, burying her head in her hands. She wished she could open up the earth and climb inside, lying there for a while, thinking. Why did she feel so _cold_?  


_You should remember what the Jedi say about anger_ , the voice piped up helpfully. _There is no passion, there is serenity._  


“Oh, shut up!” she shouted.  


To its credit, the voice did shut up for a while. Blissful quiet fell over her as Rey struggled to gather her bearings, calming herself down, restoring peace to herself before she lost her temper and started shooting lightning everywhere.  


Then, when she seemed a bit calmer, the voice said: _He was right, you know. You do know how to find him_.  


“I don’t,” she said. This time, she wasn’t shouting. She felt like all the energy had been taken from her, and now she could only sigh a response. 

_Your answers are right here, on Ahch-To. I’ve already shown you_.  


What? Rey blinked, slowly sitting up. Her brows knitted into a frown, she looked down off the side of the cliff, staring into the darkness that had swallowed her when she was first looking for answers.  


_I’ve never felt so alone_.  


“Here?” she said.  


She remembered the image the voice had shown her. Ben, in the mirror, smiling. Of course!  


“But I came here for answers before,” she said slowly. “I didn’t find them.”  


_You found them_ , the voice said. _Just not in the way you expected. Why don’t you try again?_  


She clenched her fists. “That’s a place of darkness. You’re not a Jedi, are you?”  


_I never claimed to be_ , the voice said. _But I was. Once._  


Rey stood up again, trying to take deep breaths. That place had been horrible. It had scared her so much. But if it really was the only way she could reach Ben again…well, that made it all worth it, didn’t it?  


She wondered whether he could feel her. Whether he was searching for her, too.  


She squeezed the bond like she might squeeze a hand.  


_I’m coming for you_ , she told him softly. _I’m on my way._  


She didn’t feel him squeeze back. Didn’t hear his answer. But he answered all the same.  


_I’ll be waiting._  



	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy! Sorry for the delay in updates, I had all my deadlines come up at once so had a lot of assignments to write.
> 
> I hope you like this chapter, even if it is a bit confusing. Let me know what you think, and thanks so much for reading! <3

Rey’s hands were clenched into fists at her sides. The urge to punch something was getting overwhelming, but unfortunately, the only thing near enough to punch was the rocky wall behind her.  


It was gone. The gaping hole that had served as the makeshift ceiling to the mirror cave had completely sealed up. She’d been locked out, left to rot on the temple island of Ahch-To, barred from getting to Ben. Even the black vines had vanished, with only strange, dark stains to prove they’d ever been there in the first place.  


She walked over to the place where the hole had been, standing in the very centre. She stomped her feet, hoping the ground would give way beneath her, but it didn’t, even when she started jumping up and down like a crazed lunatic, desperate to force her way back into the cave.  


A porg chirped from the cliffs above her, peering with its giant eyes. It tilted its head. She didn’t need to speak porg to read the expression on its odd little face.  


_It’s her again. Has she finally lost her mind?_  


Maybe she had. Maybe the grief had finally started to poison her brain.  


That didn’t mean she had to give up.  


She stepped away from the closed hole, instead holding out a hand and forcing herself to concentrate. She tried to let the sound of waves rush over her. She thought of the ground beneath her, solid and bracing. She thought of the energy surrounding her, breathing into her like oxygen. She focused on the balance, closed her eyes. 

_Open_ , she thought. _Open for me._  


She felt the Force surging around her, through her. But when she opened her eyes, it was to find no changes. She’d failed. The hole was still closed.  


Fighting the urge to growl or scream in frustration, Rey tried again. This time, she didn’t close her eyes. She narrowed them,watching, struggling to retain her peace as thoughts began to race in her mind.  


_It’s never going to work._ Her own brain seemed to sneer at her, transforming into the monster like the darker version of herself she’d seen before. _You’re an idiot to think so. You’re not powerful, you’re not strong. You can’t even open up a stupid hole. All your power is borrowed from the men who came before you. You’re nothing but a filthy little thief. Nothing but a desert rat. A scavenger._  


She could hear hissing, and with a start, realised it was coming from her.  


Concentrate. She had to concentrate. She tried to clear her mind, searching desperately for peace, struggling to find stability and balance in the Force. She felt it, a comforting blanket around her, a safe place.  


But her brain was determined not to listen.  


She heard a cold, harsh voice - that of Unkar Plutt - scalding her with boiling memories.  


_Stupid girl! It’s worth whatever I say it’s worth! One quarter portion!_  


With his voice came an emotion so familiar to her, it was like coming home when she felt it. Anger. Rage set deep under her skin. It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair. She’d grown up as a weak, frail child scavenging in dangerous places for the barest scraps of food. She’d been alone her whole life, growing up too soon and yet never being allowed to grow up at all. And just when she’d found something of value - the Force, her friends, Ben - it was all ripped away from her. The mirror cave was closed. Her friends didn’t understand. Ben was gone. What was the point of it all? What had ever been the point of it all?  


_Stop it,_ she thought furiously. _You have to concentrate. This isn’t going to help._  


But the more she tried to focus on the peace and balance, the more unsteady she became. Something changed in her, in the way she wielded the Force. She felt it turn, twisting. The rage built and built, as it had before, when she’d killed a whole ship of people on Pasana.  


She should fight it. She had to fight it. Turning even slightly to the Dark Side wouldn’t help her find Ben.  


Someone was screaming. She realised, blankly, that it was her.  


She remembered fighting Kylo Ren in the snowy forest, all that time ago.  


She remembered him hitting himself where Chewie had shot him with the bowcaster. Hard, furious hitting. He had used it. His anger, his pain. Disparaging, unstable energy had rolled off him, frightening in its intensity, and yet so curious, so familiar to her.  


She focused, not on the balance, not on the calm, but her rage. She let it overcome her, let it shake her down until she was nothing but a red flame, pouring her energy out into the ground. She focused on her pain. Watching her parents leave her. The times Unkar Plutt had hit her. The gnawing hunger of Jakku. Seeing Finn lying half-dead in the snow. The deaths of Han and Leia. Kylo Ren’s betrayal. Ben holding her, kissing her, falling back and vanishing, leaving her.  


She focused on it all, and it rolled over her in waves. She was still screaming, and she didn’t know how to stop. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut.  


_You’ve done it!_ the tree-root voice seemed to come from nowhere, half-shouting in her head. _It’s open! It’s open!_  


She’d done it? She barely understood the words, but they came at the right time. Her energy had failed her, and she dropped her arms suddenly.  


She almost collapsed, but instead backed away, leaning heavily against the rocky wall behind her. She breathed in deeply, then again. Opened her eyes.  


There was a new hole in the ground, new, black vines creeping up out of the cave mouth. Reaching for her like tiny hands.  


Ben was down there. If she tried hard enough, she could almost pretend she could feel him through the Force, just a tiny bit nearer to her now that another barrier was down. He was down there, and he was waiting.  


Rey only gave herself a moment to catch her breath. Then she was rushing towards the hole, jumping down into the darkness without a moment’s hesitation.  


~  
  


Rey emerged from the water, gasping for breath, and dragged herself onto the shore in the cave. It was far harder to swim now, and she wasn’t quite sure why. She’d never learned to swim, and when she’d first entered the mirror cave when she’d come here for answers, she’d only been able to because the Force seemed to carry her through the water. Now, it was harder. Instead of being carried, it was like she was being dragged through the waves on a tight string.  


It still amazed her, how this much water felt on her skin. Dowsed in it, overcome by it, she felt more rejuvenated and alive than ever. She’d never get used to it, and she’d never take it for granted.  


Still. She wished it wasn’t so cold.  


Wrapping her arms around herself, Rey stood up, greeted at once by the sight of her own reflection in the glassy surface before her. This time, she didn’t feel afraid. She didn’t even feel alone. There was nothing but cold determination and desperate hope. _Please work,_ she thought. _Please help me find him._  


Taking a deep breath, Rey pressed her palm against her own reflection. Immediately, she found herself in the odd, empty room behind the mirror. This time, however, there were no clones of herself standing around, mimicking her. There was just her. Her and the mirror, which seemed so much closer to her than it had before.  


She only had to walk a few paces before she was toe to toe with the mirror, standing before it, her breath bated and her heart pounding like a kick drum in her chest. She had felt cold outside of this strange mirror room, but now she was sweating.  


She could do this. She had to do this.  


“I need help,” she said to the mirror, as if it would suddenly grow a mouth and reply. “I need to find him.”  


She let out a breath, bowing her head for a moment, getting her bearings. She had no idea what this mirror would do when she asked for this. She had no idea what would happen. Perhaps she’d just see outlines, then her own face, as she had before. Perhaps she’d see Ben. Perhaps she’d see nothing at all, and she’d emerge from the experience colder and more alone than ever.  


_It will take you there,_ the tree-root voice said, as if sensing her doubt. _It is the only answer you have._  


“What if it doesn’t work?” she asked aloud.  


_It will,_ the voice insisted. _It will show you what you need to see._  


It hadn’t shown her that before. It had only shown her herself.  


_Trust me,_ said the voice, which Rey thought was the most ironic thing he’d said to her so far. Trust him? She didn’t even know his name. All he was to her was a voice in her head, telling her what to do.  


But despite all of that, Ben was somewhere here. She had to find him, no matter what it took. And really, what did she have left to lose?  


So she pressed her hand against the mirror and whispered, “Show me Ben Solo.”  


And waited. And waited. And waited some more.  


Nothing happened. Her foggy reflection was still, her hand cold against the glass. Everything was silent.  


Her heart dropped. She felt her blood go so cold, it was as though someone had poured icy water over her head. Every hope she had died in her chest, exploding into shattered glass. It hadn’t worked. The mirror was completely still, completely ignorant to her request.  


“Please,” she tried. “Please show me.”  


But still, it wouldn’t answer. It was as though the whole galaxy had gone cold in a single, alienating moment, and there was only Rey. Left alone by everyone. A sand rat ghost child.  


And then, suddenly, she saw something move. She blinked, moving even closer to see what was on the other hide. She moved so close, the tip of her nose touched the glass. But she didn’t care. Something was moving.  


She got closer, now pressing both arms against the glass, but the reflection was still unclear. She thought she heard voices, but they were so far away, they may as well have been ghosts whispering.  


She moved closer, closer, and closer still, until her whole body was pressed flat against the glass. And the closer she got, the more she could hear the voices, and the more she could hear them, the closer she got, peering through the glass, desperate to see the other side. And see it she did. Because without warning, her whole body was suddenly pushed through the glass.  


It was like walking through water. She felt it wash over her, trickling over her head. She couldn’t breathe, and her chest felt tighter than ever. Somehow, it was okay. Somehow, she knew she’d get through.  


She didn’t question going through the mirror. It felt natural. Right. If she wanted to see what was on the other side, she’d have to go there. It felt rather like she was being pulled through by impish little fingers, dragging, dragging, dragging, until she ended up falling flat on her face on the other side.  


The first thing she noticed was that there was grass pressing into her face. She breathed in the scent of the earth below her, so close to it, she felt like she’d been buried. The ground was soft, but squishy, squelching under her body. Mud. The watery feeling from walking through the mirror appeared to have followed her here too, since she could feel water dripping down onto her. Wait, no. That wasn’t the mirror. She lifted her head with a low groan, blinking through mud and grass. It was raining. Raining? How could it be raining in the world between worlds?  


_Oh, how interesting._ The tree-root voice chose this moment to pipe up. _I wondered whether this would happen. You have too deep a connection to it now, what with the dyad. It’s taking you as its own._  


Rey didn’t bother asking what that meant. She was too busy wincing as she sat up, aching all over. She was going to have so many bruises in the morning. If she ever saw a morning. What was going on?  


She appeared to be sitting on a low hill of some kind, looking down at an assortment of quaint buildings. There were huts, the kind of huts she was sure she’d seen somewhere before, and a magnificent temple of some kind towering above them. It had a large dome surrounded by spiky towers and other, smaller buildings - bigger than the huts, but small all the same. There were lights on inside, and if she squinted, she could see flashes of blue and green. It was night time, and the rainfall was so heavy, it was already washing the dirt from Rey’s face.  


The grasses surrounding her were tall and smelled of peace and calm. Below the hill she sat on, she could make out a thin, muddy path leading through the huts and up to the larger building overlooking them.  


It was so familiar. Rey had never, ever been here before - of that, she was almost certain - but she felt some kind of connection to it. It was meaningful to her. But why? What was it? Where was she, if not in the world between worlds?  


_You are in the world between worlds,_ the voice told her, once again somehow reading her mind. _But it’s taken you right through a door._  


“A door?” she repeated.  


_You didn’t do enough reading,_ the voice accused. _Otherwise you’d know. The world between worlds contains every doorway to every time and place in the universe. It brings it all together. It’s the thread binding the galaxy as we know it._  


“I thought that was the Force,” Rey said. Would the rules of the galaxy never end? How much more did she have to learn before she actually understood things? “That’s what Luke taught me.”  


_Strong, but naive,_ the voice told her. _You haven’t grown as much as you’d like to believe. You’re still of a young soul._  


Rey scowled. If there was one thing she hated more than being thrust into unfamiliar surroundings with more questions than answers, it was being talked down to. Everyone she’d ever met had talked down to her at some point. She was sick of being underestimated.  


“Will I find Ben here?” she asked.  


_Perhaps. But you’ll hardly find him by asking questions._  


So instead of dignifying the voice’s scorn with a response, Rey decided to seek answers elsewhere. All she wanted was to find Ben and get out of here. The problem was, she had no idea where she would find him. Perhaps someone in one of those huts, or the large building before her, would know something. It looked like there were people awake, if the lights were anything to go by, and she could easily pretend to be a lost traveller. Perhaps the world between worlds had a receptionist somewhere.  


So she stood up, tried her best to shove some of the mud off her, and began her descent.  


It didn’t take long to walk down to the largest building. The path was short, and nobody, not even the voice, interrupted her as she squelched through the soggy mud. Rey didn’t see mud like this very often. It was still something she had to get used to: the way it caked on her skin, clung to her soiled clothes. It didn’t feel bad. She was just confused as to why she could feel these sorts of things when she was supposedly in the world between worlds. If it was so transcendental, so surreal, why was she walking through the mud and rain to get to a building? Unless this was just how her mind perceived it. That would make sense.  


What had the voice said? Something about the world between worlds taking her through a door? Something to do with the dyad bond? It suggested this place had a conscience. Was it a sentient being? What gave it a conscience? Living beings gave the Force a conscience. Was it the same with this world between worlds? How did that information help her find Ben? Did it matter at all?  


No. It didn’t matter. Only one thing mattered now, and she was getting closer; she could feel it. There was a slight, gentle pressure on the bond, as though someone was pulling at her. She reached out - Ben? - but there was no answer, not even a feeling. She hadn’t found him yet. But perhaps she could find someone who knew how she could.  


As she neared the entrance to the building, she found herself greeted by a human child. He was about eleven, wearing oddly familiar robes and carrying a long stick in his small hands. He stared up at her, and she realised at once that he was Force sensitive. She could feel it in him. This boy was a Force user, and he seemed to be guarding the front of the dome and its spires.  


“Hello,” she said.  


“Hello,” he said. When she smiled at him, he smiled back, but uncertainly, as though unsure of whether he was allowed to. “You’re new.”  


“New?” she repeated. “New to what?”  


“The Praxeum,” he said.  


The word sounded familiar, but she wasn’t sure why.  


“Is this the Vergence Scatter?” she asked.  


The boy stared at her as if the words she’d spoken were completely alien to him. “What?”  


“The world between worlds,” she started. “It’s -”  


But she found herself unable to finish her explanation. Because at that very moment, she heard a familiar voice calling from somewhere inside: “Hequin? Who are you talking to?”  


Her jaw dropped. It couldn’t be, could it? She tensed, her blood electrified, her heart already set in violent flames. It was odd, different. Something was wrong. The dyad bond was awake again, but it was unsteady.  


And she quickly understood why.  


Through the doorway walked Ben Solo.  


He was different. Younger. His features were softer, though his dark eyes were still troubled. He was dressed in pale clothes, robes and pants of brown and white. He looked far calmer, somehow, though she could sense his discomfort. His Force signature was weird. So familiar, but so _un_ familiar.  


He stared at her, his eyes wild and confused.  


She hardly blamed him. He was staring at his future, and she at his past. The dyad bond felt knotted, somehow.  


“Ben,” she whispered. For a moment, she thought he knew her. She saw recognition in his eyes. She wanted to rush forwards and grab him, check he was really _real_ with her hands, but she couldn’t.  


Because his eyes hardened, and before she knew it, she had the blue glow of his lightsaber in her face.  



End file.
